Saturday, November 13, 2010
You're No Shaun Cassidy!
This is Shaun Cassidy. My first love. I bought this album when I was in 3rd grade at the ripe old age of 8 and knew I had met my soul mate. Those eyes, that smile, that hair. Oh yes Shaun, someday you would be mine. I listened to his album over and over and over on my little pop top record player in my room. I planned our life together. I played the game on my hand which predicted how many children we would have. The answer, two. Of course the girl would be named Shauna. I practice writing my name in perfect print, Mrs. Shaun Cassidy. I loved my initials "T.L.C". It didn't matter that he was older than I, by like 13 years, true love has no age. I wrote him of my dedication and I went to the mail box every day awaiting his reply of instructions on where we would start our lives together. The letter never, ever came. Stupid postal workers, stealing my life plans.
Every Friday night I would sit at the TV swooning while watching "The Hardy Boys". There was my Shaun in all the 70s Technicolor glory on our big console TV. Parker Stevenson, whatever, my heart belonged to Shaun. One time he actually got to sing on the show. I remember nearly passing out in 3rd grade ecstasy just at the sight. I also remember my father's words " What the hell is wrong with her?" My mother assured him it was a harmless crush but he was mortified by the entire event. He said if I couldn't control myself I couldn't watch it anymore. Parents, they just don't understand but someday when my Shaun came for me they would see and they'd be sorry.
Fast forward about 33 years. Shaun never came, but Sean did, so I did just fine. Now I'm teaching PE to a bunch of 3rd graders myself. Something strange has happened over the summer to my girls. It's this:
Justin Beiber. The main PE teacher plays his songs and the girls scream. They swoon, they know all the words. They run to me and they tell me "I'm going to marry Justin Beiber, we are going to have two kids and live in Hollywood." They jump up and down and squeal in bliss.
And all I can do is think to myself "What the hell is wrong with them?"