Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Feel the Fear (but protect your eyes)

I hate birds. I don't know why. I like to watch them from the privacy of my car, or inside my home. Pretty much anywhere behind glass is my favorite vantage point. Today however, I did not have that luxury.

This picture was taken today during our "Birds of Prey" assembly. It is a Golden Eagle. You might ask yourself, when you have such a cool assembly coming to your school, why would you take such a crappy picture of such a beautiful bird? Well, I would answer you that the picture is a direct result of the announcement just prior to pushing the button to snap the picture. This bird would be demonstrating a "fly over". WTF? Did she just say that bird is going to fly over our heads? No, I couldn't have heard that right. Wait, why is she unhooking the leash thing on his foot? Oh crap, this is not going how I thought it would in my head. And so you are damn lucky that my photo is a shake induced blurred picture of a Golden Eagle and not the underside of a 3rd grader as I hoisted them into the air to act as a shield during the fly over.

And so it went, I sat their brave as a Golden Eagle, Turkey Vulture, barn owl, Biggest Fucking Owl Ever (not its scientific name though), and numerous hawks flew overhead, back and forth for 45 minutes. When they brought out the Bald Eagle I thought I might actually poop my pants, but luckily it had an injury. Ok, lucky for me, not so lucky for him, and he was unable to fly today.

My favorite part of the day? When the Turkey Vulture went Rogue and flew all over the gym as the zoo bird ladies tried to lure it back to it's original perch. That was the closest I came to asking the kids if they wanted to play dog pile and offer to be on the bottom. But I survived.

The Golden Eagle was really cool to watch. But I could tell she had her eye on me. Lucky for me she could never really zero in because she only had one. If she would have had two, I'm sure I wouldn't be here to blog about the entire thing.

And so I say, good job to me for surviving the assembly intact and without loss of any bodily functions. However, if they come again next year it is going to require a martini or two for lunch! Maybe they will bring snakes too, or a hands on cougar display.....

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Pony up!

Thank goodness I located all our data necessary to complete the taxes. The Ross' will file and pay as usual.

Good thing too, cause I bet they were sweating about how they were gonna cover three fucking wars.

Sorry about the huge class sizes, the missing teachers, the cut programs, the no supplies, but don't worry kids. We have bigger things to pay for, we have to continue to bring peace to the world.... through war. Killing in the name of saving. Genius.

Hey...stop hitting each other...keep your hands to yourself....there is a zero tolerance policy for violence at this school...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Hide and Go Seek

Note to self, next year put all the tax information in the same spot as it comes in. While hide and go seek is a blast of a drinking game, or fun with kids, it isn't so fun with tax forms.

Where the hell did I put some of that stuff?

Just the fun I had planned for my week off!

Friday, March 18, 2011


Someone pass me the sunscreen and a margarita!

It's SPRING BREAK in Oregon.

Which really means, pass me my waterproof running jacket, my Gore-Tex ASICS and put my peeps in a glad sandwich baggie.

But when I finish my long run tomorrow I'll take that Margarita!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Value of No.


Two little letters but so powerful in the English language. It is my personal opinion that the lack of usage of this word is instrumental in the woes of current society.

For example, I currently have two student teachers. One I'm thrilled about and have waited for. She was my September experience last year and I'm honored to be involved in her final teaching experience before she hits the big world of public education. The other one is a jr. block teacher who quite frankly has no business being in education. While I get there is a whole cadre of education programs out there that makes teachers out of anyone who puts in the time and money, there shouldn't be. There are certain things necessary to being a teacher that just can't be taught. This girl possesses none of them. However, I ended up with her because I refused to use those two little letters when my principal asked if I'd take on a student teacher Winter Term. Oh the pain "NO" would have avoided for both me and my class.

I sit on several committees at work. Do I love them? Nope, but again I didn't exercise my right to say "No". See, I like to make people happy. I don't like to disappoint them. Disappointing people makes me uncomfortable. So rather than do that, I often say "yes" when I mean "no". My fault completely. I chose this martyr role and that is a huge thing I need to work on.

I however think the biggest disservice to the word "NO" is being perpetrated by parents today. I have students that I believe only hear the word "NO" in my classroom. It is unfortunate that I have to say it to them many times a day because they act shocked when it comes out of my mouth and sometimes it escalates slightly due to said shock. I don't like being the bad guy at work. I want to be fun, I want my students to like me. However, that is not my job. My job is to educate them. I'm not there to be a BFF. So why is it that parents think that it is their job to be their kid's BFF? Do parents today not have their own peer group?

Can you imagine meeting someone new for the first time and during the "get to know you" conversation piece something like this comes out.

New person: "Do you have a lot of friends?"

Me: "Why yes, I have many close friends, they are all 8 and 9 years old"

In real life that sounds like a freak flag to me. I'd be reported to the authorities, as well I should.

So let's all step up just a bit and try to say this word together now. Are you ready?

See, that's not so bad.

Now parents, try saying it to your kids sometimes, so I don't have to all the damn time please.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Coming Home!

When I was in High School I had a huge poster of New York City on my wall. I would lay on my bed, listing to my stereo and dream of the future. I had grand plans of moving there when I graduated and kicking the dust of Corvallis right off my 4 inch Prince style boots. I guess I watched the movie "Fame" too much or something. I didn't really have a plan for what I would do when I got there, just that I would go. I didn't go, I stayed, and got married.

Still married. This week I got a small taste of what it would be like if I was single and I can wholeheartedly state NO THANK YOU!

SO here is my top 10 ode to my husband and why I never want to be single!

10. Garbage Day-
I almost missed it because that is not my job.

9. Solo Dog Duty-
Who knew that medicating, feeding and playing with him took so much time, I've been late to work every day!

8. Quiet House-
Yes I'm surrounded by noisy little children all day long. I could use a little peace and quiet at the end of the day. But this silence is deafening.

7. No Rolling Partner
This half marathon training is killing me. Sean rolls out my legs for me at night. I can't reach my legs like he can. I've been cramped up for a week.

6. Doggie Depression-
Rogue has been dragging his tail all week. He likes his pack all together.

5. Can you say Salad:
Because other than dinner last night when my Sister and Mom invited me out to their house, I've eaten salad. Turns out that's all I know how to make anymore.

4. Sunday Morning-
Sunday Mornings are for Law & Order while Drinking Coffee. Turns out, it's not as fun to do alone.

3. Coffee Maker-
I make the coffee every morning. Today it took me 3 tries to actually make a pot. I've become inept.

2. Too Big Bed
Again, the idea of having the bed to yourself seems great, until you do. Sure it's fun to stretch out the first night or two, but after that, it just accentuates the empty space.

1. Celebrations/Pep Talks
I have the luxury of being married to my best friend. Anything that happens is first shared with him. When I have to wait for a late night phone call to share that, it's just not the same and things can get lost in translation.

Yes, I'm a simple girl from a small town and I can't wait for my better half to get home!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Longing for Cooties!

What ever happened to the days when boys and girls had cooties? I'm not talking about a bad family case of head lice. Rather, I'm talking about the days where as spring sprung and boys and girls started noticing each other, I could quickly curtail such blossoming love simply by reminding each sex that the other one had the cooties! The exchanges used to go like this:

Mrs. Ross I like Robby.

Me: Oh, well you know you have to stay away from boys, they have cooties.

Kid: They do? Gross!

Another teenage pregnancy averted. Thank you Mrs. Ross.

Today I learned that those days are long gone. How did I learn this? When I was greeted by the third grade broadcast news story from the future people magazine reporter of my class. It went like this:

Mrs. Ross K & N kissed at recess today.

Me: Um I'm sure you misunderstood there wasn't any kissing.

Reporter: No, there was kissing! We all saw.

Me: Saw, no you must be mistaken!

So I decide to go to the source. I went to the girl and asked her, was there kissing at recess? She does a full on confession and then goes on to tell me that the other girls were pressuring her, but she didn't mind because "K" is her boyfriend. Boyfriend? WTF!

Yikes! I had to have the whole, kissing isn't an appropriate school activity, peer pressure is a bad thing, and do I need to call your mother talk with her. Good times. I wasn't expecting to ever have to have that conversation with one of my students! Ever! I teach 3rd grade. That was more of a conversation I expected to have with my niece or nephew someday. But not while they were in elementary school!

I would give anything for a discussion about why it's not ok to call someone a "Cootie Queen" Oh how I miss those days!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Dinner Date!

Today was a very busy day. Without the boy I have to get myself ready and get Rogue set for the day as well. Since he is a high maintenance dog, that takes almost as much time as it takes me to get ready. At least he is nice enough not to wake me up in the night like he does to Sean.

So I made it to work, dealt with the hellions all day and then went to a union meeting after work. Since it is a bargaining year I'm taking on some extra responsibilities. Heaven knows we don't want to become Wisconsin, so I'm going to do my part. Anyway, I promised to stop and visit Erin and Tao on my way home. That was a blast. I can't believe how much he changes week to week. What a cute, angry little boy!

I finally got home around 7:00. I fixed my dinner, green salad w/tofu (much better than it sounds), a whole wheat pita and hummus and lemon water. Don't be too impressed with my healthy dinner, I ate a row from my valentine chocolate bar after, even though there was pineapple in the fridge meant for dessert.

While I was eating my dinner, my dinner date's gourmet meal was cooking in the over. Duck! Yes, I was cooking a duck breast (two actually) for my fuzzy date. He was so appreciative when it was ready that he actually ate a decent meal for the first time in two days.

Which is exactly what I was hoping for given the fact that he has been my sole source of companionship for the past three evenings. Sean wants a break from dogs when Rogue eventually has lived out his full life. After only 3 nights of being the only human, I can't imagine a house without a dog in it. Who would sit on my feet? Who would dance when I get home? Who would love me no matter what kind of mistake I made during the day.

So tonight I raise my glass of lemon water to the the best darn fuzzy a girl could ask for!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

A Girl and her Dog

Well, and a cat too, but we don't count her in the party guest number. It is just me and fuzzy buttkins this weekend. The boy is off on his semi-annual DC trip leaving the two of us to party down in Casa de Ross.

I started out this day by running 10 miles. I'd like to say it felt great, but it didn't. My stupid IT/knee issue is not fun at all. I got a new strap for my leg and with the help of Jeff Galloway and his 30 second walk breaks I finished the full 10. But to say it was wonderful and I could do more or go faster would be a total fabrication! I'll take it though. I still feel good that I finished it.

After a trip to the school carnival and a lovely dinner at Big River with Mom, I'm back home, sprawled on the couch and covered with frozen vegetables from the knee down. '

Oh yes, partying is art form in this house.