Shaken Faith

I don't consider myself to be a deeply religious person. I was raised in the Episcopal Church and I occasionally enjoy returning for a service or two, but I don't affiliate with any one religion. That is not to say that I'm not spiritual though and it offends me when people think I'm not. However, my beliefs are things that I normally tend to keep to myself. It's how I am.

Sometimes though things happen that shake the faith that I do have. Like today when I logged on to Facebook only to discover that yet again, the worst had happened. I knew yesterday a dear friend was taking her dog into the vet. The news unfortunately was the worst and yet again, loving owners were forced to make the excruciatingly humane decision to spare their beloved dog from the pain any longer. Through pictures she shared his last day, a run in the rain and a drive through McDonald's. Thank goodness for fast food for the last supper. Marley too enjoyed a hamburger on his way to the rainbow bridge.

Less than a month ago another dear friend had to say goodbye to her boy. Rogue hasn't even been gone two months yet.

Three dogs in less than two months. Three families heartbroken. It shakes my faith sometimes and so I turn to the sky and I ask "why?" I know I will receive no answer that is acceptable, that it is not my information to know. I know there are more homeless pets down here and puppies yet to be born to fill in the family gaps. I know that there could never be enough homes for them all. I understand all that. But right now, running in the rain, I just feel cold and empty. I am not ready to offer my home, my heart to one of those in need. Selfish, yes, but so is the call to take the dogs back home again before we are ready to see them go. Time will heal us all, I know it will. It's just too fresh and with every loss of another beloved pet, the painful reminder resurfaces the wound and shakes the faith yet again.

Run free dear friends. Run free.