To Run or Not To Run

The results are in, the damage is done. Much as I suspected the MRI revealed tears in the left knee. On the one hand the validation that I have not turned into some lame ass wimp and in fact have torn cartilage is somewhat comforting. Of course then there is the other hand which says, what now? Well, what now is that I'm waiting (sound familiar) for the orthopedic surgeon's office to call me and tell me what my options are. Considering my self-referral PT of the last 3 weeks has done nothing to fix it so far, I fear the knife is in my future.

Which brings me to the question of the day. When my regular Dr. called me with the MRI results his assistant informed me that he knew I'd be chomping at the bit and that while I wait for the surgeon's call I may try to run no more than 3 miles at a time and not everyday. I was told NO STAIR TRAINING EVER. Which of course I knew because I'm pretty sure the training for "The Big Climb" is what caused this injury in the first place. So now I have to decide. To Run or Not to Run.

I have been less than charming since my running shoes where placed in my closet. I've been hiking, biking, and even working with a personal trainer, but nothing is the same. There is something about nothing but you, shorts, t-shirt and a pair of shoes hitting the trail that is so minimal but everything all at the same time. It grounds me and quite frankly I could use some grounding.

Does my knee feel any better since I stopped running? No, not really. Does it feel any worse? No, not really. Therein lies the problem. If I run while I wait, could I do more damage to an already damaged knee? Maybe, but then if they have to fix it anyway will it really matter? But if I don't run, can I do more damage to an already damaged spirit? I think maybe I might.

I don't know yet what I will do. Sometimes in life there are no easy answers even on trivial issues such as this. Take a chance? Play it safe? I just don't know. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me. Heck, I'd settle for a magic 8 ball right about now. Of course it would probably just say "Ask again later".