Fish Bound

Today I had the kids write a persuasive paper about what would make the best class pet. Now mind you, I had no intention of actually getting one, but they didn't need to know that. The logic behind 8 year old writing truly cracks me up. I had a myriad of reasons why I should get a hamster or gerbil. I wonder if the kids know they are nocturnal. Then there were the votes for bunnies. Most of the girls went the bunny route. I had the kid who wanted a lizard because they are green. Sure, that's kid logic for you. I had five requests for ferrets, but my favorite ferret was the one that needed to be named "Kitten."

I not only had a well written paper requesting a turtle for a pet, but an accompanying note from her Mom and digital camera full of pictures of said turtle that we were welcome to have starting immediately.

There was the kid who wanted a dog because they are fun. Then there was the kid who wanted one because we could give consequences to the naughty kids of "poop duty", while the good kids got to play with it. I'm assuming her pronoun "it" referred to the dog and not the poop, however I probably should clarify.

Paper after paper with the same old kid logic about class pets. They are cool, they are fun, they are nice. They teach responsibility, blah, blah. Then I got one that actually said we could learn about the life cycle from them so it would be like science. Does she realize that would require our class pet to actually die? Clearly she missed my science lecture that day, or she hasn't ever seen "The Lion King." In the end, after reading 28 papers I came upon the clear winner...The Beta Fish.

Not only did she lay out brilliant economic arguments for having a fish, they only need a bowl,fish food (which can last up to a year), and the cost of the fish itself. The entire outlay of cash she estimated at me shelling out about $15. That's cheaper than Otter pops for everyone. She then went on to tell me it's life span can be upwards of 4-5 years so I wouldn't have to repeat purchase.She then calculated out my price per year. Hmm, impressive, yes, impressive but I was still on the fence until she hooked me with this line....."We should get a Beta Fish for a class pet because they have excellent personalities, I know because I have one."

I can't believe I've spent all this time owning a dog when I could have just owned a Beta. Sean will have his dream come true. No more pining for a dog. Excellent personalities...wow! Who knew?