Shush! I'm running here.

So I did it. Today I ran just over six miles with just me, myself and I. Ok, that is not entirely true. There were a ton of people out on Bald Hill and Sean was running the same basic route as I was and he finished up the last couple of miles with me.

But for those of you who know me well, the true feat of the day is that I ran mostly by myself. It didn't start out that way. This was plan "C". Plan A was to run with a friend today. A family emergency changed that plan. Plan "B" was to use the Ipod. I actually thought that was going to be the plan right up until I got to the car and realized I had no idea where my Ipod is. I thought it was in my gym bag and when it wasn't there, I figured it was in the car. Nope, not there either. I hope it isn't in some stranger's possession. I love that play list! Plus, it is my shuffle and the only ipod I really know how to use.

However, once I realized it could not quickly be found I decided I may as well buck up and run with myself and my dreaded thoughts. I did my warm up with Sean and then we quickly parted ways as I saw his tiny frame get smaller and smaller as he picked up speed in front of me. No problem, I can do this. So I broke into a jog myself. It started out ok. I looked at how much bigger the sheep have gotten and noticed that the "Camas" flowers are really in bloom now. I also notice the poison oak starting to perk up as well. So far, so good I thought to myself.

About that time I thought, "hey, I'm going to really use this time constructively, let's figure out some of those issues that have been bugging me lately". And that is when it happened. The negative little flame began to burn, "you can't think about work, you can't even breathe." "Hey, have your legs gotten heavier since you last ran?" or the "How much farther do we have?". Oh crap I thought to myself here we go again. I began to sink into that self pity party that I do so well.

Then I looked ahead and saw the most adorable old couple walking at a snails pace enjoying the flowers. About a mile ahead I saw a family with two little ones learning to ride their bikes. Two ladies were kicking butt with some fancy walking poles down the inside single track. This doesn't even begin to count the number of wagging tails and muddy paws I saw today. Everywhere around me I was surrounded by people who were just happy to get out and enjoy some fresh air and a beautiful day.

And so I decided that no mater what, I was going to silence that stupid inner voice of mine and just run. When I started to get tired, I slowed down, pulled out my nasty gel and as I tore it open and squired that thick stuff down my throat I heard that little voice start in again. This time I did what anyone else would do. I shushed it. I literally held my finger to my mouth and made the shushing sound. Who cares what I looked like. This had to be done! And you know what? It worked. It really worked. So I started back on the path with the quiet of my non thoughts. Will I ever solve problems when I run? I doubt it, but I can enjoy the scenery, the people and the moments of silence. And for the record, that is good enough for me.