Eyes Wide Open

Vacation is over and Sean has gone back to work. I have a million house projects to get started on. Funny how you can ignore the little things when one is so busy and can't deal with them and then one day you turn around and bam, there they all are right in your face.

So I wander from room to room taking stock and adding to the to-do list. The one thing that continues to strike me is the silence in the house. It's been almost six months since Rogue died and longer even than that since he would freely follow me from room to room. I miss the companionship he gave me, the calm I got petting him. I miss my sense of purpose being there for him. There are countless things I don't miss too. The stress, the financial expenses, the pain of not being able to fix him. But at the end of the day, my home, my family is not complete anymore.

During the school year it was easy to push these thoughts aside. I was busy, it was too soon, we weren't ready. All of those arguments still hold true yet, the longing does not subside. I want a dog, our family needs a dog. Ultimately, we may not be ready. There are fears. Real fears. What if we end up with another dog like Rogue? What if inspite of all our efforts this time, we find another needy, genetic misfit? Could we live through that again?

When I think back on what we gave Rogue and what he gave us in return, I can't help but think that fate is what caused us to be matched up. He needed us. Yes, we all made some mistakes along the way but isn't that really what life is? A series of learning events? How many of us make mistakes in our human relationships? There are no guarantees in life, no certainties except eventually death. It's what happens in between the birth and the death that really makes the life.

So am I ready for a new dog? No, and Yes. What I know is that it's a leap of faith. As little Susan learned in Miracle on 34th Street- "Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to."

There are no guarantees in life. Human parents don't get one and neither do pet parents. However, I've lived my life with fur kids and I'm living it right now without and there is no doubt in my mind it's a leap of faith I'm willing to take.

Final Chapter-Vacay 2012

When we last saw our vacationers they had just finished the Avalanche Trail hike. Let's see what happens next:

Heaven's Peak (Um, I'd say so)

More beauty. Does it ever stop?

Jackson Glacier

That's Jackson Glacier. It's one of the last big ones and not expected to last past 2020. We will have to return before then.

Totem Pole at the McDonald Lake Lodge. Great place to stop, put your feet up and drink a huckleberry margarita in the big rocking chairs on the porch.  Just sayin'

Lake McDonald from cruise

This is the view from Lake McDonald. We took a great little cruise around the lake on a boat from 1930.  Come on, you didn't really think I could spend this much time at a lake zone and not make it onto a boat did you?

Creepy taxidermy collection in the lodge

This is my favorite picture from the entire trip. I saw it with my own eyes, I wanted to stay forever. I hope that I can permanantely imprint this onto my brain.

Lake McDonald from Apgar Ranger Station

Loving it so much I wanted a couples picture to mark the occasion too. In my bliss from the beauty I had forgotten that I was married to the zombie. Small children and those with weak hearts, please look away.

Someday we'll look at this and laugh. 

We finished our trip by heading back down to Bend, OR for a couple of days. In the state, that's one of our favorite spots and it didn't disappoint this time either. We accidentally ended up in the middle of town during the freedom ride. We spent an entire day walking the Bend Ale Trail and visited 9 breweries. A fantastic little end to our trip.

Great stop with markings for all the Mts. around us.

 

Sweet Glory in the Bi-Mart parking lot!

We finished our perfect vacation (well sans the shingles of course) with a stop at the Metolious. Come on, you knew we would do it. Nearly all Ross vacations end up with a Bridge 99 shot. It's expected.

My favorite guy in my favorite Metolious spot.

See, he's looking better already! Actually now that we are home except for the deepest scabs on his forehead and around his eye, Sean is pretty much back to his normal stunningly handsome self. 14 days and 2000+ miles on the car. I can't believe it's over so quickly. It was an amazing vacation and I'm so sorry we can't keep it on the road for longer. So much fun.

Guess I'll have to put all my energy into begging for the new fur kid now. Leap of faith Sean, leap of faith.

Happy Summer !

Part Deux

On the Road to the Sun

Back in Glacier on day 2. We drove the Road to the Sun and enjoyed the stunning views along the way. This worked out really well because Sean wasn't feeling to hot this day so the drive and stop for pictures was a perfect way to spend the day.

Here are some of the stunning views.

This last one is a great 4 mile hike we did to a little lake called Avalanche Lake. It was an amazing hike in and although I kept making Sean do our bear clap (in honor of Leslie Mack the OSU gymnast) we managed to make it nearly without incident.

Unless you count the thunderstorm that happened about a mile or so back down the trail. By the time we got back to the car I was completely soaked. I've never been that wet in my life. Caught on a glacier trail in a thunderstorm. So Much Fun! Who knew?

Whirlwind Tour-Part I

We just got back from our vacation. We started with one week in Leavenworth, WA, at the Blackbird Lodge which is where I took this picture. Great little Inn with a room on the top floor complete with french doors that remained open most of the trip looking right out on the Washington Cascades.

The trip started out great. There was a little island across from our hotel that we got up and ran around on the first day. The second day we got more brave and did this little climb.

It was a 2000 foot climb over 4 miles and totally worth it. The rest of the time in Leavenworth we spent enjoying the scenery of the crazy little German town.

Sean developed what we though was poison oak from the hike. When he woke up with an eye swollen shut and in severe pain I drug him across the street to the immediate care center where he learned he had not poison oak, but rather shingles. Good times! We filled a pain killer Rx and hit the road.

We made a quick detour to Grand Coulee Dam along the way. Wow, impressive. I wish we had time to stay for the tour, but we had hours more to go.

From there we took a quickly zombie looking guy and piled into the car and headed off towards Whitefish MT. Our next stop for 4 nights. It was a long day, but well worth the trip.

From here on out Sean will be sunglasses and hat clad to avoid horrifying you with his zombie like presence.

While our little spot at the Duck Inn in Whitefish was beautiful in it's own right, I could not be dragged out of Glacier National Park for more than a few hours at at time. I could have stayed there forever. Stunning beauty. I teared up nearly every time we drove through. Emotion overload. I hope I'm not pregnant.

This was the Hidden Lake Trail at Logan's Pass. Clearly we couldn't travel it yet. Lots of snow this year. The Road to the Sun had only been open a week when we arrived.

This was a little hike in to a spot called "The Gorge"

My computer has decided that this is clearly enough images for one posting. I will pick up later on. Until then...enjoy your day!

World's Best Job

Today I was in charge of small fry for the day. I started out with introducing her to one of my favorite hangouts for summer coffee. We met up with Uncle Sean and headed to the Brew Station.

I then drug her around on my errands. She kept me entertained with silly 7 year old humor. I kept her interested with the promise of a trip to the craft store when we were done. We have a new JoAnn's Fabric in town and it was amazing to go in there.

She picked out a small sewing kit and some really fun buttons for some fabric she had selected previously. With our newfound loot we went to the last stop of the day to get my tires rotated.

From the tire store we headed back home and waited for Mom to pick us up so we could all go to lunch together. We hit the new Pannera which was delicous. Then a swing back to Madeleines house pick up her fabric to start her projects.

However, a through check of the house did not yeild her fabric. Eventually a broken hearted small fry and I headed back to my place. Bound and determined to find a solution I began opening drawers at my house. It's no secret though that I'm not a crafty girl. I don't even own a sewing machine. However, up until February I did own a dog. A dog who loved Bandanas. What makes a perfect fabric swatch? A former dog bandana. So Small Fry was given a choice of a life time of dog accessories.

I'm so excited to see what it will look like when she is done!




All in all a most excellent day, and it's not over yet. We are headed for pedicures in just about an hour. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

Hello Summer!

The calendar say it's still spring but at 11:12am today I turned in my checkout list, handed the boss man my ID and keys and officially moved out of my room.

Whether it's June 20th or not is irrelevant to me.

Hello Summer. Bring it!

Insights of Insomnia

The clock says 3:12 am. I stopped sleeping somewhere around 2:00. I need to be up in just over two hours but the sleep evades me even though I am exhausted. Today is the final day of this school year with the kids. It is the day I have wished for. Yet, it is with mixed emotions that I face the sunrise.

There is no doubt that this has been my most challenging year to date in terms of testing my resolve to be in this field. As I packed my students up yesterday and sent them home with their prize work of the year, I noted that this is not a group of forth graders. Yes there are a few shining stars, ready to take on the next chapter. Rather I am awake at 3:12 haunted by the majority who aren't yet ready. Those who still cannot complete an assignment, write a coherent paragraph or identify a trapezoid. There are those who still blurt, who fall out of chairs and who pop up out of their seats with every thought that enters their head. They are unaware of anyone else in the room. These are the kids whom I feel view school and me as something to tune in and out at will. I worry for them. I worry that I did not do enough, that they will fall further behind and get lost in the shuffle. I want to know that they will be ok, they will catch up and they will thrive. I hope that it is just 9 year old boys, not yet mature enough to take school seriously and opt for fun instead and that one day soon they will come into their own and be the shining lights that I'm used to seeing this time of year. I hope for them to be all they can be and I fear that I did not aid them in that venture.

This is also my last day on a team I love. After tomorrow I will no longer be in the hall of women I've grown to love, trust and rely on during those darkest of days and brilliant moments. I'm thrilled to try something new next year, but it isn't without a sense of loss and wonder if it will be as good as what I have now. Because kids and classes come and go, they can touch or break your heart, but they always move on. It's the work of the brilliant teachers around you who get you through the tough weeks and celebrate the moments of genius. I have spent the past three years with them day in and day out and I will miss them all dearly.

Perhaps these are the thoughts that my subconscious brain is really battling with that is keeping me awake this night. It's not my giddy excitement of a summer taunting me, but rather the close of a chapter and the potential of the unknown. I'm sure come the light of day things will seem more clear. My students will move on into most capable hands who can surely reach the ones I did not. My classroom space will be occupied by another and I will set up in my own new space. Maybe it too will eventually feel like home.

Regardless, I salute you my dear, dear friends. It has been an honor to be in Hall A. While I move along to Hall B now, I will always and forever be an A Hall at heart.