Naked

Today I forgot my wedding ring. I don't know why. I take it off when I get ready in the morning so I don't get girlie products like make up and hair spray all over it. Normally I put it right back on, but today I didn't. I don't know why. Don't go reading more into it because it was more about my Dory memory than anything else. No hidden meanings so just get over that one.

All day long I kept finding myself rubbing my thumb down my ring finger trying to figure out what was wrong. I must have touched my ring hand 2000 times today hoping it was magically back. It felt wrong, exposed, incomplete.

I kept expecting people to notice all day long. I thought people would wonder. Maybe they did, but no one said a word. I seemed to be the only one aware of it's absence.

I guess I should have know that the ring was just a preview of my entirely off day. You know that song "You had a bad day". That was me today. Turns out the missing ring was the best part of my day.

I have a student teacher who really is trying but just doesn't get it yet. The problem is, she thinks she does. She gives empty threats to the children. They have her number so they misbehave knowing there are no consequences because there is no follow through. I have talked to her about it, but she doesn't seem to want to hear it and makes no modifications to her behavior. When I was a student teacher I lived in the classroom. I ate up anything my mentor teacher had to teach me. I was exhausted and exhilarated all at the same time. My student teacher arrives 5 minutes before the students even though my contract hours begin an hour earlier. She stays maybe 15 minutes after school, even though I work until 5 or later every day. Today I watched the worst fractions lesson I have ever seen. She had no idea what she was teaching and it was because she didn't take the time to prep. She tried to wing it. A seasoned teacher can wing it on a very lucky day and those don't happen often. A newbie often flounders on a well prepped lesson. Winging it is not an option.

While it is painful for me to watch, it is the kids that I feel bad for. We have worked hard to establish classroom routines, procedures and plans. The kids know the rules and mostly follow them and they treat each other and me with respect. They don't treat my student teacher that way and quite frankly, she hasn't earned it yet by the way she is inconsistent with them. There are some things that can't be taught.

My day ended with a long meeting that raised more questions than answers. Yes, it was just that kind of day.

Tomorrow I shall put my ring on first thing. Hopefully that will restore the center of my universe and get my footing steady again. If not, I'm glad I at least already have plans to meet a friend to run after work. I don't think I can take another day like this for a while.