Thoughts before dawn

I cry two times a year. Some years there are other days, random days when life overwhelms, or a good movie or lame commercial hits just the right chord. But in general I'm more of a stuffer, an arms length girl if you will, so that tears don't rise too often.

Both days are for the same reason. My father. Who has been gone for six years now, which still amazes me because every now and again I think I see him somewhere, or that I should ask him something and then I remember again. I wait for it to get easier, and it has, until it isn't. Like on Father's day, when at some point in the day I lose it. Like this year, randomly in a hotel room, listening to some song on the radio. I don't even know what song it was.

This morning I woke up at 3:30 with a terrible stomach ache. Tossing and turning I couldn't get back to sleep. Rather than risk keeping Sean awake, and pondering all the school work I still have to do, I got up. I'd just go grab a quilt and lay on the couch for a while. So I headed to the spare room where they are kept. Hmm, I thought to myself. I think this is a day I could use a little Dad as I grabbed the quilt Crystal made us from his old shirts. No sooner did I hit the couch than the salty tears started trickling down my cheeks. Oh yeah, today's the other day. July 20th, the day we lost him. No indication the tears were coming, they just did.

And so I let my mind wander through the past as I thought of all the time I was lucky enough to have my Dad. All those things that were especially Dad. I'm just like him. It is so funny to me how the things that annoyed me the most about him when he was alive are the traits that I now hold myself. It's like a mirror. Short fuse, quick irrational anger, a detest for mornings (how ironic I'm up before dawn today). A fierce loyalty to friends whether earned or not, love of family and silly car trips. Nothing makes me smile like the smell of industrial hand cleaner, or a deep diesel Riesling. My sense of humor and my losing it at inappropriate times. That is all from him.

I'm not the only one either. I see him in Zach. In the way that he crosses his long legs and reads the comics. In his silly laugh and his sense of humor. And the cowlick. Oh that cowlick. Yes, that boy has Thompson in him.

And so on this 6th anniversary of Dad's death, I celebrate his life and legacy. We are all here, together at last and I believe, carrying forward all that was good in him. We are after all, family.

Since I'm up, I think I'll go watch the sun rise.

Girls love bugs!

This is me at the OSU Bug booth at DaVinci Days this weekend. I've never gotten to see a Walking Stick in person before so this was a real treat! One of my student's did their bug report on them last year so it was extra cool. I'll have to find him in the fall and show him my picture.

This on the other hand was something I had seen before:




College days. Probably not the first, nor the last college girl to see one of these. Maddie on the other hand, was intrigued. She had the choice of holding this cool rare leafy walking stick, or this nasty ass cockroach and well, you can see her pick.

You gotta love a girl who will pick the cockroach!

The Great Escape

Yesterday I got up early, got my morning run in, came home and made a to do list of all the work I need to get done over then next two days in my classes. Armed with the order of things I need to do I made my first move.

I set the list down on the table and left the house.




This is where I ended up. The beautiful Oregon Coast. Even though the weather people made their brilliant predictions for an awful day on the coast, it was warm and sunny. The kids played in the sand, I napped on a log with a belly full of chowder, and after a couple of hours we headed to the Aquarium. We wandered around enjoying otters, sharks and jellyfish. It was a wonderful day and a much needed break from the grind of the school work!

I wonder how I can avoid my work today...

Talking smart!

This morning I woke to the sound of rain outside my window. It is a welcome change to the bright sun stream of the past several weeks. Why would I say something like that on an Oregon July day? I'll tell you why my friends. Better yet, I'll show you.




This is what my Summer looks like. I just spent the past hour writing a response using gigantic words about why students should work in learning communities and the pointless nature of multiple choice high stakes tests. Do I really need to pay $400 a credit to say this? Oh, well at least I'm increasing my ability to talk smart.

By the way, here is how Rogue feels about my Summer endeavor. Look closely, you can see the shatter marks in his spirit.

Cool like that!

I've been trapped at this computer for the majority of the past few days working on my literature review. Yuck! While I'm learning interesting new data filled goodness, I'd rather be playing outside with the other teachers!

Today I got out for a lovely little 4.8 run with Sean. I say "little" but really it may as well have been a marathon. It was hot and I was tight in all the wrong places. But with Barrel to Keg less than two weeks away, I've got to get my time in. I hope between PT and maybe a massage if I'm really lucky, I'll survive and even enjoy the relay.

And so as I type away, getting more and more sore as the hours tick by, I was thrilled to hear one of my all time favorites on Sean's surf fest going on over on the couch. It was the distinct, angst riddled voice of Humphrey Bogart himself. Casablanca. My all time movie favorite!

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."


Damn...they just don't make them like that anymore.

Martini anyone?

Chug Chuggin Along

Today we ordered our team shirts for the Barrel to Keg Relay. Sean designed this killer graphic of a train on the front with our team name. The back was supposed to say "The What?!? Train, Chug-Chuggin' Along. It was beautiful. But, it was two screen printing costs and an additional 2.75 per shirt which ended up being about $60 more bucks when we already forked out a cubic ton of money for them in the first place. We wanted tech tee's due to expected weather and..well let's face it, we are way beyond running in cotton t's. We aren't your average weekend warrior for god's sake.

So, one week from today we will have a set of 2 tech t's per team member and cotton t's for the support crew for our crazy endeavor. I hope they look cool!

I'll just have to keep chug chuggin along without the reminder on the shirt. I expect I won't really need it since that seems to be my constant status this summer. Between summer school, PT and what not, it's all I seem to be able to do.

A Trail Tale!

Yesterday was a beautiful day for a Mt. Bike ride. So after lifting weights for almost an hour with Olivia, we loaded up the bikes and headed out to Oak Creek. I knew I needed fuel so I grabbed a banana and a muscle milk before we left. I thought that would be fine.

I started to have a glimpse of being in trouble on the endless gravel climb up to the junction of choices. My crankiness factor increased exponentially. Why is real biking so much more difficult than spin class? Once we hit the junction of choices, I was completely fried. 40 minutes of straight climbing took it's toll on Miss irregularly low blood sugar and I hit the wall. I bashed a perfect bolt pattern into my right knee trying to clear the down tube to get off my bike. That's when it happened.

I turned and looked in the direction we were supposed to head and I saw it. It came out of the shadows and stood in the middle of the road. It was probably 100 yards down the road. At first I thought it was a deer. No, wait, it's much bigger than a deer. Shit, look at how strong those back legs are. COUGAR! It just stood in the road staring towards us. I said to Sean "there's something down there." He looked, "where?" He couldn't see it. During this same time I'm fumbling with my new gloves trying to figure out how the hell to get them off so I can pop my sport beans into my mouth before I fall over. "It's right down there!" I say to him as I finally rip the glove free and shove beans into my mouth, assessing the situation. Clearly I'm not going that route anymore and I'm trying to pump fuel in before I have to ride like the wind once the cat figures out it can catch and kill me. Besides, those sport beans were delicious. Excellent last meal choice I think to myself and clearly the cougar would want in on the action.

Sean says to me "there's nothing there, Trace, you're hallucinating". Yeah right I think to myself, you'll be sorry when you're eaten and I'm half way back down the hill. But to humor him I say, "fine, but we aren't going that way, I'm tired and we can go to the top of Dimple Hill but I'm not going that way."

About this time, a curious thing starts to happen, my hand stops shaking and I gather enough courage to look down the road again. I can't really make out the cat anymore. Hmm, I think it must have moved. God I hope it isn't right behind me now. But then I keep looking and I can make it out again. Yes, yes, there it is. Yup, it is there alright. Probably just as it was in the first place. A shadow, down the road. Shaped like a cougar mind you, but just a shadow.

And so I hopped back on my bike and rode up to the top of Dimple Hill just before we took this picture. Of course, I took ribbing all the way up from Sean, about how if I would have eaten when he asked me too before we even started the big climb, I never would have hallucinated a giant bear trying to kill me.

Jeez Sean, don't exaggerate. It was a cougar dude, if it was a bear I would have been fine.