X'ed

I'm one of only 46 million who can claim the Generation X label. We notoriously turned our back on the establishment and announced that we weren't driven by money. We didn't care about status, we were all about what was real. Maybe that was the problem. The end result is that we are labeled as random, ambiguous, and suffer with contradictory ways. Save the world? Nope, I'm not sure that is in the cards for my generation.

I spent the majority of my twenties job jumping. Granted, I graduated from college during the first collapse of the job market. I think most of us graduated with degrees and ended up pouring coffee at the time. However, at least we had jobs which is better than what is out there right now.

In my 30s I went back to school and got my teaching degree. It has held me for the past 8 years. While I don't see myself in this career for another 20 years, I should be ok for a few more. Every now and again, especially after a particularly challenging day, I want to be done. But most days, I can see myself doing this for a while longer.

Where my Generation X downfall happens is with my fitness. I just can't commit to it. I start something and I stop it. The idea of being accountable to myself is laughable. Apparently I suffer from lower expectations because that is all I can think of that would account for the lack of follow through. My favorite exercise buddy moved away and while we still text our workouts, it doesn't get my ass to the gym on the drive home. My husband has a gym membership too. We've never workout out together. My trainer and I have been hit and miss for months. I'm officially off the wagon these days.


Hand and hand with my lack of commitment to the exercise is my poor body image. I've been unhappy with my weight for about 20 years now. I graduated from high school just over 100 pounds. I got married at about 105. I haven't weighed that for 22 years. I grew up and became a woman and it would be unhealthy for me to be that weight again. Yet, it probably is unhealthy for me to be the weight I currently am. My joints get sore and I'm sure they'd be happier with a little less. A few years ago I joined Weight Watchers and lost 25 pounds. It was great! Since then I've keep it off and lost about 5 more. However, I've been stuck somewhere between 5 and 15 pounds over weight since then. I know what I need to do, I just don't do it.

I was lamenting to my text workout buddy last night that I really need to lose this weight. She texted me the following: "maybe you should go back on WW." Sounds smart right? My response to her was this "well, yes I'd love to go back on WW, but I'd hate to give up control of my binges."

Random, ambiguous & contradictory ways. Guess that sums it up pretty well now doesn't it?