With Distinction. Not only did I pass my exams, but I passed them with distinction. There are no words. I can exhale now. I am speechless. I am thankful, I am exhausted.
I am done. Tracie has a Master's Degree. I wish my Grandmother's were still alive for this. They would be so proud.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Afraid to breathe
Tomorrow is the big day. Somehow between 1 and 5 I'm supposed to muster enough courage to call the graduate office and listen to them tell me whether or not I passed my comp exams. I can hardly breathe just thinking about it.
Pass. Four little letters that will change my world. Oh please, please let me hear those four little letters.
I have no interest in hearing the other four letters. Fail.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Pass. Four little letters that will change my world. Oh please, please let me hear those four little letters.
I have no interest in hearing the other four letters. Fail.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Pushing the Limit
Today was a really bad day. The kids are done and I'm exhausted. It's a recipe for disaster in a classroom. To make it through it's going to take all my clown college skills. It's going to be the longest 16.5 days of my life.
All day long I was planning my run. I was going to go at it alone. I thought I had a charged Ipod and was ready to go. Not so much. I'm the only person on the planet that has 3 dead Ipods. In my attempt to salvage it I was headed out the door when Sean came home. He offered to run with me and I figured sure, why not.
I planned on doing my normal 3 mile route and if I felt good enough I was going to tag on the hill at the end. However, Sean had a different idea. He made me do speed work. Initially I was really pissed, this was my run. What you don't know about me is that I'm exceptionally motivated by being annoyed. So, I did the speed work. Then I did the hill too. After we turned around from the hill Sean announced we were going to finish with speed work. Oh hell, why not.
It turned out great and I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Turns out I did ok. Sometimes you have to be willing to go with the flow and step out of your own way.
I hope it works with my mad skills from clown college routine tomorrow.
All day long I was planning my run. I was going to go at it alone. I thought I had a charged Ipod and was ready to go. Not so much. I'm the only person on the planet that has 3 dead Ipods. In my attempt to salvage it I was headed out the door when Sean came home. He offered to run with me and I figured sure, why not.
I planned on doing my normal 3 mile route and if I felt good enough I was going to tag on the hill at the end. However, Sean had a different idea. He made me do speed work. Initially I was really pissed, this was my run. What you don't know about me is that I'm exceptionally motivated by being annoyed. So, I did the speed work. Then I did the hill too. After we turned around from the hill Sean announced we were going to finish with speed work. Oh hell, why not.
It turned out great and I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Turns out I did ok. Sometimes you have to be willing to go with the flow and step out of your own way.
I hope it works with my mad skills from clown college routine tomorrow.
Friday, May 10, 2013
12 Days....
Did you know that 7 hours can pass by in an instant? Who knew?
It's done. I took the 2 days of exams. I wrote pages and pages and pages. I fought through brain freeze, printer freeze and the panic. Here is the recap.
I over looked a few things in my panic of the high stakes testing at its best. First, I forgot a theory. I forgot a date or two and I think I screwed up a name. I wrote longer on one question than intended and short changed the last one on the second day. I worked hard on my APA citing but totally spaced my APA line spacing and wrote my entire 19 pages single space. Shit, I hope that's not an automatic fail.
Now I wait. I have 12 days until I make the phone call that determines whether I'm really and truly done with this or if I have more hoops to complete. 12 days. That's 2 days short of 2 weeks. My strategy?
Let it go. No more worries. There is nothing I can do about what has been done. I'm hoping for the best but for the next 12 days I'm letting it go.
Exams? What exams?
See, it's working already.
It's done. I took the 2 days of exams. I wrote pages and pages and pages. I fought through brain freeze, printer freeze and the panic. Here is the recap.
I over looked a few things in my panic of the high stakes testing at its best. First, I forgot a theory. I forgot a date or two and I think I screwed up a name. I wrote longer on one question than intended and short changed the last one on the second day. I worked hard on my APA citing but totally spaced my APA line spacing and wrote my entire 19 pages single space. Shit, I hope that's not an automatic fail.
Now I wait. I have 12 days until I make the phone call that determines whether I'm really and truly done with this or if I have more hoops to complete. 12 days. That's 2 days short of 2 weeks. My strategy?
Let it go. No more worries. There is nothing I can do about what has been done. I'm hoping for the best but for the next 12 days I'm letting it go.
Exams? What exams?
See, it's working already.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
4 days
That is the amount of time I have left until I will drive myself, a large coffee, a water bottle, seven packs of sugarless gum and perhaps one small snack size bag of gummy bears to the library at WOU where I will be locked away in a tiny room to begin the first of 8.5 long and painful hours of comprehensive exams.
It's been four years in process to get to this stage and while I've theoretically completed all the coursework necessary to pass these things, with each passing day and ticking down of the minutes I feel less and less prepared for this. I've had the questions for a couple months and have been studying for weeks now, but I don't know where it has all gone. I dream of it every night. Perhaps it flitters out of my mind somewhere in the great abyss.
I hope once they shut the door, confiscate all my electronics and leave me with nothing but my brain food of coffee and sugar, that it all becomes a Zen like moment of clarity and the words just flow from my fingers complete with properly cited theorists, and specific examples.
Until then, I'll keep cramming, hoping and learning. After all, when all is completed, I can finally fulfill my life long dream of being a teacher.......hey wait a minute.....
It's been four years in process to get to this stage and while I've theoretically completed all the coursework necessary to pass these things, with each passing day and ticking down of the minutes I feel less and less prepared for this. I've had the questions for a couple months and have been studying for weeks now, but I don't know where it has all gone. I dream of it every night. Perhaps it flitters out of my mind somewhere in the great abyss.
I hope once they shut the door, confiscate all my electronics and leave me with nothing but my brain food of coffee and sugar, that it all becomes a Zen like moment of clarity and the words just flow from my fingers complete with properly cited theorists, and specific examples.
Until then, I'll keep cramming, hoping and learning. After all, when all is completed, I can finally fulfill my life long dream of being a teacher.......hey wait a minute.....
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