Never too old!

I love Halloween. This year we have the pleasure of coming up with two different costumes. The first is displayed above. The costumes said "Dracula" for Sean's and "Fallen Angel" for mine. Whatever, we went for mostly dead in our interpretation. We had a blast. We wore these fashion masterpieces to the birthday party of a friend. I can't believe how pregnant I look in this picture. Especially since I'm not. No, that is nothing but a good old fashioned combination of many weeks without regular runs to anything but the candy dish. In my defense, the "one size fits most" costume was less than forgiving. Who are these "most?" I want to know!

This look was pretty easy since the costumes were already made and we just had to do the make up and accessorize. For informational purposes, my jewelry was my grandmothers and I think it makes the outfit! So here is a holla out to my Nanny! Thanks for that rock star ring!

Sunday's costumes need to be worn for a local 5k costume event. That will be more of a challenge. I'll post the photos. Until then, I have to go hit the candy dish again. After all, I don't have to wear this costume again for a year or more and..I'm in training!

Boys, Beer and Meat

Today my house was filled with two distinctly boy smells. Beer brewing and meat smoking. The boys finally got around to brewing a batch of their famous brown ale. I'm not a beer fan in general, but damn those two can brew up some good beer. It's even worth giving up my big bath tub to the two carboy fermentation fest going on in the make shift brewery. I can shave my legs elsewhere.

The other marvelous smell came from the smoker the boys bought this weekend. A smoker and buy one get one free pork shoulder roasts created a smokey, meaty, delicious feast at my house for dinner. I was even moved to look up a coleslaw recipe on the old Internet to do my part.

All in all this very manly fest made for a most excellent Sunday. We watched the inaugural Korean Formula One race on the tele, prior to the DVR getting cut off due to the bad weather delays. No NASCAR in this house though. I do have my standards and have to draw the line somewhere.

So boys, thanks for a delicious dinner and a reminder of why I wanted us all back together in the first place!

Rendered Speechless

This is the Snow Princess Barbie in Brunette created in 1994. I had no knowledge of this doll until I was called her last night by a parent who was nearly in tears at my conference table. It seemed like a normal conference. I was sharing samples of her daughter's work so far this year. We were discussing how I may need to move her out of my reading group and into a higher level and she just stared at me. I explained to her how well her daughter was doing and how she has really taken off. Nothing, no words. Slightly confused I pulled out more samples of the work, showing the perfectly formed letters creating well written sentences. I showed the trajectory line of her September reading score to the October reading score. I explained while she is not yet on grade level she is making excellent progress and is at the top of my reading group. Still silent but at this point I notice the tears that are beginning to well up in her eyes.

She then shocks me with her words. "Please, please don't move her"." What?" I say," why not?" She then said, "you believe in her, you work with her, you have found the key to our daughter". Now I am the one with the tears welling up, but I am the professional so I can not let them show. I then state, "Oh no, it's not me, it's just her time, some kids are late bloomers and it just takes them longer to get into the groove". She then goes on and says to me "You don't understand, every year it has been a struggle just to get her to school, she cries, she makes herself sick, she tells us how stupid she is and her teachers call her slow." At this stage I am rendered speechless as she tells me that the past experiences have included labels and gross generalizations by professionals who should have known better if they had only taken the time to look. It broke my heart.

Now I get that we all have classrooms full of quirky kids who have different learning styles and crazy behaviors. We are not teaching the same kids who we sat with as kids ourselves. As a child the worst behaved kid in my class would occasionally not follow directions, or get out of his seat when he wasn't supposed to. This year I have a student who throws chairs, clears table tops, and screams when he doesn't get his way. I have another who at 8 has decided he is in charge of his own life and goes against all parent rules (which aren't enforced anyway) on a daily basis. This year I'm lucky to have all my students in their seats at the same time. I have one who can perform wonderfully if he is allowed to squat in his chair and lean on the table. He can work for 15-20 minutes silently focused in that position. Previously I had spent 15-20 minutes a day asking him to return to his seat every time he got up. I have one who needs a mental break about every 30 minutes so she either gets her book from, or takes her book to her locker. She doesn't bug anyone on the trip to or from said locker. But the minute it takes her to get there and back allows for a mental reframe that keeps her going the rest of the work time. It is who she is and is what it takes to keep her from falling apart because school is hard for her.

It takes time to learn about what works and what doesn't for my students. That is my job, it is what I am supposed to do and I take pride in doing it well. Sure most days I don't think I have succeeded and I ponder the day and evaluate what to change.

And then there are the days when I am called "Snow Princess Barbie" during a conference, about a girl who is doing well. The exact statement went like this "You know you are Snow Princess Barbie at our house." I say, "oh wow, thanks, I've never been called that before. Wow, thank you." The mom smiles and repeats "Our daughter came home and told me the first week of school, Mom, I have Snow Princess Barbie for my teacher this year". I thank her again, say my goodbyes and prep for the next family. I don't think about it until this morning when I wake up and wonder "who is snow princess barbie?" And so I do a google search and discover that Snow Princess Barbie was created in 1994 and is a rare, unique and collectible barbie of which only 265 dolls were ever made.

I am rendered speechless. It is I who now have the tears in my eyes as I truly realize the extent of the compliment. It is the much needed answer to my daily question "Do I make a difference?"

Phew!

The past two days were made up of approximately 24 hours of being at school. Two 12 hour days of parent teacher conferences. Well one day of full teaching followed by 4 hours of conferences and then a solid 12 hour day.

That's a lot of hours sitting and talking. This year I had all but 5 of my regular class show up and I had at least 12 kids in my reading group show up too. I also had some past kids stop to say hello which is always a pick me up.

All in all it was a great experience this year. Supportive parents and kids who are doing pretty darn well at this early date. I kept really busy which made the time go pretty fast.

Now I have a 3 day weekend to make up for the crazy two days. I'll take it. I think I'll start now.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Ode to the Girls

Yes, it is national breast cancer awareness month, but those aren't the girls I'm talking about here.

I think the secret to a long and happy marriage is not mutual respect or undying love. Nope, it is having girl friends. Not for him, that wouldn't help! These are my girls. This week I had two interactions with two of my favorite girls that helped me see the light. Would I eventually have come to the conclusions that I did if not for the time spent with my girlfriends? I believe wholeheartedly I would not have. I'm just not that reflective.

The first insight was less of an insight and more of an affirmation, that I am not evil. This came from my trainer whom I also call my friend. Over the past month our weekly sweat sessions had become my favorite workout of the week and even more recently they have become the highlight of my entire week. I realized how much I missed that connection with someone while I work out. A physical therapy session if you will. Having someone who will push you while sweating it out with you is so awesome. Recently the conversation has turned more confessional on my part and as it turns out, she gets it and makes me feel better. So an hour later I'm not only physically trashed, I'm also sporting a new renewed spirit and in a much better space to go home to the husband. Thanks Olivia!

My other shout out goes to my often quoted and much loved girl Erin. This week she reached rock star status as she helped me sort out in my own round about way why I have been so damn pissed off for the past couple of weeks. She helped me figure out two things. First that my anger wasn't actually at what I thought it was and two, that it was just a symptom of something else that I hadn't even considered. Yes, she is that good. No couch, no regression therapy, just a short drive from work to what will most likely remain my happy home. For that I give Erin the Cody 5!

Thanks ladies for keeping me centered in an off kilter world. My glass is lifted in your direction!

Wait...What?

Today I took myself for a run after work. Well, I took myself for a run after PT is a little more precise. I was supposed to call Stafford, but I was so wrapped up in my own head and thoughts I forgot until about 5 minutes in. Oh well, he will forgive me I'm sure.

The run was nice. First, I kicked up my pace. Usain Bolt I will never be, but I did run sub 10 minute miles for 27 minutes. The air is cooler and it is getting dark earlier so I think that the days of the safe after work run are numbered. Especially since my running partners are all MIA for various reasons these days. But today, the quiet in my head and the cool in the air was exactly the ticket for what turned out to be a bizarre day.

In PT today my therapist informed me that I can pretty much return to my regular activities for the most part. This means back to running as I can and back to classes at the gym. Wait..what? But my knee still feels like sandpaper. Is it always going to feel like that? I don't quite get it.

Then I gave a quick check of the cell phone on my way to PT and what do I see? The news that a very dear friend is pregnant. Wait...what? Double wait..what? I am absolutely thrilled for her/them, it is just so unexpected. This racks up my unexpected friend pregnancies to two in the past 5 months. Both will be absolute wonderful additions to the world of families and I would give anything to have all my students have the kind of families that these two children will grow up in.

I think though that with each new announcement comes a bit of chaos in my own brain of unresolved issues. They are mine and choices I made and that ultimately I would make again given the same two options on the table. But human nature wouldn't be what it is if you didn't have the ability to wonder.

Or wander, like my mind did, on a crisp fall evening, enjoying the trees, feeling the crunch of the gravel beneath my feet and feeling alive. And so like the changing of the seasons of the earth, so goes the changing of the seasons of our lives.Time marches on, and the best thing to do is jump right back out of your head and into the game. Besides...I always welcome the opportunity to be another "Auntie Tracie". I'm good at it, I have experience, and you can always, always count on me to have gum.

Extreme Home Makeover

Ok so the wallowing in self pity is over. No more worries about pointless rants for the time being.

What brought about this change? Nothing, I just built a bridge and got over it. Time to move on. To the new couch and love seat I'm hoping to purchase today. We have had the same lovely purple couch since the day we bought this house. I'm pretty sure there is still Casey and Marley fur embedded into the cushions permanently! It matches nicely the rawhide chew goo left from the teething months of Lucky and Rogue. Yes, the years are not counted in the Ross house by rings like on trees, but rather by dog damage. It was our first actual furniture purchase as grown ups. But that was 12 years ago. It's time to let the purple beauty go and bring in the new. It's glory days are over. Am I sad? Slightly, but like earlier said bridge I'll get over it!

The only question is do I go with Forest Green or Ruby Red. So hard to know since it will probably last another 12 years.

Hmmm, I wonder if I can manage a new area rug out of this too....